I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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