at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize