dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
