just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
