he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize