I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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