I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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