So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize