i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
