Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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