I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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