Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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