what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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