u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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