your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
