...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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