just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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