The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
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Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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