can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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