Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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