Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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