i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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