Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
