highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
