If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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