just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
