please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
