I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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