Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
