As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
