Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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