well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
