fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
