i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
