Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
