Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
