Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
