Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
