I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Randomize
