so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
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