eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
