It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
