using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
