I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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