i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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