her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
