Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
