we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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