So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
