How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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