chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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