And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
