Just fell off a train. Bad.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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