Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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