Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
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