We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
