Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize