Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
