everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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