Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
