Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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