He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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