I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
